Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
