About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man