youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?