I think im going to throw up on grandma
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.