It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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