i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
