where am i from again
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
