The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
