U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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