hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
