They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
