i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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