i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
