...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
