just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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