whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
