did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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