toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
