no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize