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he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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