Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
