Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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