best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
