I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
