i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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