remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize