I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
