so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
