I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
