why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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