Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
