My balls are so social today.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
