You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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