ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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