good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
