Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
