; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
