I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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