I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She said her name was "party"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
