rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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