Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
