How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
