I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
