i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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