you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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