: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
