You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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