Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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