she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
