u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
did i just pee glitter
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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