Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
