I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
