found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
