Don't you send me to vm
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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