I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Randomize