he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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