u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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