So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
