hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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