So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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